Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
