Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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