I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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