You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
