morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
