You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
