I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
