O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
