found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
