Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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