Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
