Do you still have your period?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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