What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
