this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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