Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
