You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
