Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
