He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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