He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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