it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
