you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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