Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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