sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
