from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
