she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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