make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
