so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
