Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
