I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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