May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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