Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
