You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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