So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
