I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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