No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
