shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
