Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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