There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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