hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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