last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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