For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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