dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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