What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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