You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
