Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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