I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
