i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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