So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
