Buhtt sex?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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