So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
