if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I will die if light touches me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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