You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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